This week in our 52-week project, I chose Spring as the theme… and so it seems appropriate since the first day of Spring is this week! What better way to celebrate than to capture the tell-tale signs of the incoming season of Spring, which is just around the corner. Birds singing and chirping early in the morning announcing the end of winter and new beginnings. This is the 2nd year that Noisy Boy (pictured above), a male cardinal that resides in the neighborhood, graced all of us with his beautiful songs.

Last week I wrote about creating a safe space to grow into. Part of having that safe space is also having safe people in it. I wrote about resources to rely on when you are growing and learning that you can lean into for constructive criticism. I’d love to dive into this more! Over the years I have had several mentors and have learned some qualities that I look for in people that I rely on for information and constructive criticism. So here are some of the things I look for in mentor:

Subject matter expertise – When I am looking to learn something from someone, I look at their years of experience in the field I am wanting mentored in. For example, would you ask someone who has never been in a long-term relationship for relationship advice? I look for people/groups that consistently demonstrate quality / knowledge in the subject I am wanting to learn.

Humility – While I am looking for someone that is knowledgeable, I am also looking for someone who is still growing. Someone that knows they likely don’t have all the answers but will grow with you in learning. If you find someone that thinks they know all the answers, RUN. They have hit their own ceiling in growth. growth and learning are a journey, not a destination.

Honesty with Tact – This is possible and can be a difficult line to walk as a person. I believe that criticism CAN be constructive if given in the right manner. Find a mentor that gives feedback with good intentions. How can you tell when it is with good intentions? Do you feel like you are a burden when you ask for feedback? Do you feel deflated after receiving feedback? If you answer yes to either of those, examine the intention behind the feedback. Constructive criticism should come in a way that inspires you to keep moving forward. You should feel like that person has your best interest in mind when giving you feedback. Did you learn from the feedback in a way that will help you improve? This last question MUST be a yes… otherwise the feedback was pointless.

Kindness– How do they treat people at different levels? Do they look down on subordinates or do they treat everyone with kindness and human decency? This is a must for me in a mentor. Are they good listeners, or do they listen to respond with defensiveness? Do you feel safe communicating with them? Which leads me to…

Good Communicator – Do they give you clear instructions/feedback? If you tell them you aren’t clear on something, do they make an attempt to explain things in a kind and well-articulated manner, and without a condescending tone?

Celebrate in your progress – This is a huge tell-tale sign of whether someone has your best interest at heart. Do they celebrate your wins? Do they take interest in your progress?

These are just a few things that I look for when finding “safe” mentors, or people that will help propel my growth. What do you look for in a mentor? Leave a comment below and let me know! Next week’s theme is……… portraits! I will be changing it up a bit and sharing some hilarious stories about when I was dating my husband. Here are a few shots from this week as I was working to gain some content for this post…